There's no such thing as an ugly baby?

Two women:

"I'm so glad they found each other."

"Yeah, but they're going to make some ugly babies!"

Ross

I can't believe they're not....

Two guys in the dairy aisle:

"But I don't think her boobs are real."

"Are they covered in skin?"

"Yeah."

"Then they're real enough for me."

Fred Meyer

Yee haw.

"The only problem with me moving to Dallas is that with all those Southern accents, I'll always think I'm talking to retards."

Subway

Little Incompetent on the Prairie

"We were freezing, thank God for long underwear during that big storm.
We all had a pair, even the kids.
.......And luckily my father in law had a gas grill so we cooked a lot of stuff outside.
I am not used to cooking on a gas stove. I’ve never had gas. Well, not cooking gas, anyway."

Deals Only

He Woulda Cared When They Were Dating...

An obviously married couple:

Lady: Honey, do you mind if we try the green one today?

Man: Hmmm?

Lady: The GREEN one. I know I usually get the red one, but what do you think?

Man: About what?

Lady: About getting the green one. Instead of red one. I mean, it's
different. Being green instead of red.

Man: Good God Woman, I don't give a rip. Get 'em both if you want.
I can't tell the difference anyway.

Astoria Safeway.

You know what they say about redheads...

Boy: "Like, of all of the haircolors out there...red is definitely the most attractive."

Clatsop Community College Cafeteria

A lunch conversation between two 18-year-old boys and two 18-year-old girls.

Boy 1 - Hey, what about that Home Improvement show? Girl 1 - Huh, what's that?
Girl 2 - You know that show with the guy who was always peeking over the fence like some kinda perv....
Boy 1 - Yeah. You were always trying to see his face, but dude, you could never see his face.
Boy 2 - What a shitty role.

Clatsop Community College Cafeteria